Friday, November 03, 2006

First Quarter Grades Are In

And they do not look good. Like I said, before, most of my students are failing. I have four classes, and the average grade distribution in each would be something like 1 A, 1 B, 2 C's, 2D's, and 15 F's. I even went to the principal's office to ask him if that was OK or if I should alter my grading scale so that like a 50% was passing. Thankfully, though, he said that it was find if I failed most of my students and that sometimes they just need to see that F first quarter to motivate them to try the next quarter. I think I'm failing more students than the average teacher at my school, but not many more. I was hearing very similar comments from all the other teachers while we were in our new "computer lab" (3 P.C.'s) logging grades into the system.

I want to thank those Joe and anonymous for leaving messages again. You are absolutely right that I need to keep my personal and professional life separate and find more joy in the small successes I do have. On that note, I am slowly getting more students coming into my room at lunch, which is such a great sign. That means they like me which means they respect me and the more students in a class who respect me, the better behavior is bound to become. So as irritating as it can be some days to babysit a bunch of kids during my lunch break, the reward outweighs the cost.

I think I last blogged two weeks ago. I felt basically the same way the whole next week, which is why I didn't blog again. Last weekend I must have a hit a low point. I basically did no work and instead just layed around moaning about how I hate my job and hate grading papers and lesson planning. My boyfriend, getting exasperated with having to listen to the same thing over and over told me to just take a day off. Ding! Lightbulb! Take a day off? Why of course! Why didn't I think of that! Then the next day my mom came down to see my new apartment and I spent our entire lunch complaining about everything again and she agreed. Take a day off! So what did I do? First thing on Monday I wrote a letter to the principal explaining how I need an entire day off in order to catch up on grading and on missed sleep because I hadn't slept more than 5 hours a night in two weeks. I was afraid the principal wouldn't go for it, but instead he said something along the lines of, "Oh that's fine, go ahead. We all need a personal day now and then with this job. We appreciate what you do here." So on Halloween, I stayed home.

Playing hooky is one of the best things I have ever done. I slept in, ate a decent breakfast, then graded papers and calculated letter grades from about 10:30 am to 10:30 pm. I only got 75% done, but that was a huge chunk out of my workload. Also, I did not have to chaperone the Halloween dance, which if it was anything like the dances at my high school, must have been mad raunchy.

Wednesday I went in to work refreshed. I may not have seemed any different to my students, but I just felt better overall. I was still yelling at them and everything, but I didn't care so much. I'm getting more used to the constant yelling at children. Almost luckily for me, 3 students in my bad 7th grade class almost immediately broke rules that got them sent out of my room. The emotionally disturbed girl I mentioned last time threatened a boy and sprayed water all over my floor. One boy was punching another. Another girl had a cell phone ring in class. Oddly enough, it was the girl with the cell phone who ended up getting suspended because she yelled at me so bad for trying to take her cell phone from her while the security guard was standing right there. Silly kids. The funniest part was when she came back in my room at the very end of class and was just seething mad at me. She kept saying, "Don't look at me. Don't say my name. I hate you Ms. Newbie I hate this class." Meanwhile, I absolutely could not help but laugh at her. Of course, that just made her more mad. But I got a laugh in during class time and that is a thing to cherish.

Thursday was the Reading in Fundamental kickoff. Every homeroom was given a class set of books to read and a volunteer came into read it to them for about half an hour after talking about why reading in important. Volunteers, you say? How nice! Well, not so much. For the whole school, we could only wrangle 5 volunteers from the community so the rest of our "volunteers" were administrators. My class is reading "Island of the Blue Dolphins" by Scott O'Dell. I like this because it means I have an activity every day for homeroom now. I don't need to hunt for newspaper articles or dream up team-building or citizenship activities anymore.

Next, the students had an assembly, but a handful of my homeroom students lost their minds and could not even be quiet in the hallway on the way down to the auditorium, so I had to keep 6 boys and 1 girl in for 1 hour of silent detention in my room during the assembly. At least it was mostly silent. A couple of boys kept whining. That was irritating as hell. I hate detention more than making phone calls home. It really does punish the teacher more than the student. And on top of that, I missed seeing some of my lunch-time friend/students participate in their speech and debate competition during the assembly. I was even surprised myself how disappointed I was I didn't get to see that. I felt like I was missing my own son's performance or something. I guess I do like kids after all... :-)

So anyway, I only had to teach one class on Thursday (my GT class) and they just did the book work they didn't do with the sub (because they were at the Halloween dance). Then Friday, today, was a half day since teachers needed to log their grades in, so again, I only had one class and they too just did the book work they didn't do with the sub (because they were slackers).

Oh, and notice how I said sub. Yes. A real, honest-to-goodness substitute. The DC central office shifted personnel around the system so my school finally got teachers for our science and english vacancies. This is fantastic for two reasons. One, the subs that were in those spots are now free to sub for sick teachers so I won't have to cover other classes nearly as much as I used to. Two, I don't have to plan lessons for the other 8th grade science classes anymore or plan for 8th grade all by myself. I now have another physical science teacher to collaborate with. The bad news is that this new science teacher is a first-year just like me, so we are both equally inadequate at helping each other. But it's better than nothing, right? (Remember that the third science teacher in my school is just a second year teacher, too. Are we the most inexperienced team of teachers you've ever heard of?)

Now that I going through a not-really-caring-about-bad-behavior phase and a I-did-everything-I-can-do-so-it's-not-my-fault-they-all-failed phase, what can I whine about in my blog from now on? Science fair - that's what. I hate science fairs. EVERYONE hates science fairs. Why must we hold one? Why are science teachers held accountable for planning and assessing this huge undertaking that definitely does not teach kids anything about how science really works and that barely anyone enjoys. Ugh. This 3 month long science fair period is going to get underway in just a week or two and I am just frightened. I would so much rather just teach science content than coddle a bunch of kids who can't read or write or operate a keyboard and don't care into doing lame fake experiments and writing massive reports about them. Meanwhile, I'll have the kids who can read and write and can type 100 words a minute who will have finished weeks ago. What am I supposed to do with them? I'll let you know how it goes.

Anyway, I think that's really all for now. I plan to relax a bit this weekend guilt-free and then develop independent projects my students can do in class that will take them several days. I think their behavior will be much better if they are just working on some kind of project. I'm basing this on the fact the days when my 7th graders were making posters were always the ones when the most students participated and behaved well. Have a good weekend all!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hystarical to read your blog. So you're a "Newbie"...I'm in my second year. If it's any
consolation it gets better. The second year
doesn't have that "Oh my gosh...what am I doing,
exactly?" feel to it. So hang in there and by all
means take another day off if you need it. My
school district gives us 3 "no excuse" days to
take for any reason which in most cases I'm
sure is for mental health reasons. :-)

Second Year "Newbie"
Chicago

Anonymous said...

Newbie…

As a parent, Middleschoolmom.com , I admire your admitting you’re a newbie. The word in itself is asking for help, which everyone in every profession needs when they are new.

Two words of wisdom

1. keep your personal life OUT

2. And do know don’t use a sub / hookey days too much as it is hard on the kids, the real issues is your organization, and making plans to get more grading done in class. eg self grading, or peer grading, and better time management so your not so worn out.

middleschoolmom.com

Anonymous said...

I'm a first-year teacher in Brooklyn, in a school that is I'm sure very similar to yours. You should read the book "36 Children" by Herbert Kohl-- it's a stingingly honest account of a white teacher's first year teaching in Harlem in the '60s. And hang in there-- you're clearly working hard and giving 99% of your energy to your job and your kids, which is HUGE and commendable and more than most people do for their job. At the same time, though, it sounds like maybe you need to work smarter, not harder. Maybe they can't read or write or use a keyboard, but now it's YOUR job to teach them those things. Daunting, next to impossible, yes, but (cue the Rocky music) figure out what DOES work and ditch what doesn't. Projects work for your kids-- make your units project-based! I have loads of behavioral issues in my classroom, and I also feel like I don't have time to call home at night, so I rarely do. I've realized, though, that if I focus on tightening my lessons-- giving them purpose and direction and ways for the kids to genuinely engage and discuss real questions that matter to them-- the behavioral stuff will work out. Middle schoolers talk constantly and are defiant and act like total lunatics because that's what middle schoolers DO, developmentally. It has nothing to do with you. My rule of thumb is, if their comments are just directed at ME (making fun of me, trying to get a rise out of me), I ignore them until I can have a private conversation. If the comments prevent the rest of te class from learning, I intervene, usually unsuccessfully. I have a lot to learn.

Good luck, and don't forget to seek out the brilliant, resilient, spunky qualities in each of your kids. Oh, and breathe.

Anonymous said...

I am a first year teacher in Houston. I was hired late, received zero orientation, and float between 6 classrooms. I have virtually no life to speak of, and have received all my ancillaries, room keys, procedure instructions, and computer access piecemeal thoughout the semester. I received my first and only filing cabinet during the 9th week of school. Believe me I feel your pain.

I've been reading through your blog today, and have really enjoyed it. It is an incredibly draining job, and it sounds like in spite of your challenges you are holding up remarkably well under the pressure.

Like you and the other first year teacher here, I feel consistently overwhelmed. Please hang in there and know that you are not alone.

Anonymous said...

You haven't written in a while..........Have you given up? I teach 8th grade math in Birmingham, Alabama, and am having the same problems you are. I have been so depressed about going to school each day......I can't hardly find a reason to go to work. I feel I am doing no good.

Anonymous said...

Hey DC Newbie,
Long time lurker checking in. I'm also in my first year teaching so I understand the joys and sorrows. Hopefully you're still teaching?

Bats in the Belfry said...

Sounds a lot like my experience. Only we don't get subs for our classes. Because we are a charter school, I am told, there is no funding for subs. When a teacher is out the faculty gives up their preps and covers classes. I have taken one day off, in October for my son. When I came back my room was trashed, everything in my desk stolen, my own personal books I brought to the classroom ripped on the floor. Even though we get a whole whopping 3 personal/sick days in a year I doubt I'll use them.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for taking a day off! I find that a lot of teachers seem to think that they are not allowed the common curtosy of sick days or "mental health" days that we allow for students and adults in every other occupation. Ultimately, that decision was probably better for you AND your students!

-Erin Henry

Anonymous said...

Are you still teaching? Did you finish the year? Update your blog and let us know.

Anonymous said...

I'm curious to hear how the school year finished for you. Be sure to update us :)

Anonymous said...

OMG. If I had only read this before I began what I got myself into. I am a first year teacher in the Phoenix area. I've been working harder than I've ever worked in my life. I got my first check today and I want to cry-like I didn't at the end of the first day. Where is all of the $ that I abandoned my friends and family several states away for? How am I going to pay my bills? Why is my check less than the checks I was getting at my job that did not require a college education? Embarrased and exhaused by the behavior issues I've been encountering. Blogging about this at 3am on a Friday night exhaused and stunned. So tired and worried that I can not sleep.

DC Newbie said...

So I just discovered now, on September 4th, 2007, that people besides my mom and best friend actually read this thing. My own boyfriend has never even read this ;-) I had a few comments here and there before, but I never knew people were hoping I would blog again. I am so sorry! I was self-absorbed for so long there I couldn't even think of it, and now I wish I had becasue all your comments would have been such a comfort. So please allow me to backtrack.

To middleschoolmom - you are right and right. As a newbie on the edge, I needed one hookey day (see that - only one all year!). As a student, I hated when my teachers were absent. It seemed so lazy. And boy I wish it was as easy as saying it to keep my personal life out. Teaching is such a personal way to spend your day though, it may take me another few years to figure out exactly how to do that. Especially when I absolutely adore some of my students. Even more so when I realize I am more of a mom to several of my kids than they have ever known.

To all the other newbies around the country - how are you doing now? Sounds like we were all depressed come November of 2006. Are we all as relieved and happy as I am now in September of 2007? Man, I hope so. Let me know!

To Bats in Belfry - oh my goodness! My room had worksheets and stuff all over the floor, but nothing like what you described. I am so sorry.