Four days until school starts

And I am soooo worried about so many things. Before I get into that, let me tell you about the last two days of staff development at my school.

Yesterday was the first time I met the rest of the staff. Everyone seems really nice, really. Everyone was offering to help me and especially the younger teachers practically took me under their wing socially. For instance, inviting me out to lunch with them even though, being seriously strapped for cash right now, I had brought mine. How do these young teachers afford buying 7 dollar sandwiches everyday? The only problem was, when I went out with them, they kept telling me how horrible the students are and how I'm going to be cussed out and how the kids are going to throw things out the windows and stuff. They were all saying, "I don't mean to scare you, I'm just trying to be real with you." I know, and I appreciate that, but it totally didn't help. I kind of knew all of that already, but it being my first day in a real job with real coworkers and all of them setting me up to expect failure - it ruined my day to say the least. My mom compared it to being pregnant and telling all your friends, but all they can do is tell you stories about how horrible labor is. Never having been pregnant, I'll take her word on that.

For me, I realized I basically felt homesick. I don't about you all, but sometimes when I am away from home for the first few nights of an extended stay, I get really sad and nervous and scared. I travelled to India once for a month (it was great, by the way), and I can still remember my first night there being one of the worst days of my life. I kept saying to myself, "What the hell was I thinking coming here for a month? I'm going to hate this so much." Well, that's exactly what I was saying to myself last night, except instead of fearing the next month, I was fearing the next year. Everyone keeps saying, "Just don't let the kids see you cry" and I would respond, "Oh yea, that won't be a problem." Meanwhile, I got home and I cried. I was holding back throwing up and crying all day. I couldn't eat and I couldn't look anyone in the eye. I got home and my mom asked me excitedly how my day went, and I cried. I'm very glad that I cried to her and not on this blog because I feel much better today.

Not to say I'm not still worried, because I am. Today I really came to understand that these children don't just have no support at home and haven't had a great education up until now, and even that many aren't just abused or witness abuse at home (if they aren't too busy raising themselves). I learned that a lot of the kids may have fetal alcohol syndrome or have been crack babies or maybe even have lead poisoning. So on top of being emotional disturbed by the troubling lives they are living in the ghetto, they may also have their very own minds working against them. I asked if I should expect to have emotionally disturbed kids in my class and was told I most certainly should. What can I say? I have no training for this. I have zero training on discipline, management, special education, inclusion, or anything of the sort. Hence, the constant worry.

But, as far as my mood goes, I am feeling better. It's becoming abundantly clear that despite all of these obstacles, every teacher in the school is really committed to the students. This isn't just a job - they really want to make a difference. I came into this profession not out of charity or wanting to better the world. I became a teacher because I love teaching. But now I'm seeing that I should really start to embrace this idea of changing the world one child at a time. I want to improve this school and work hard for these kids just like the rest of my coworkers. They are an inspiration, really. I should take the time to say again how great they are. I was fully prepared to write this blog without ever mentioning my administration for fear that they may discover my blog and I could get in trouble. But, as it turns out, I think I'll have nothing but good things to say about them. Of course, I've only been there two days. Maybe I shouldn't speak too soon ;-)

As far as my classroom, I've barely made a dent in the mess the previous teacher left behind. On the up side, I have discovered all sorts of school supplies like tape, chalk, staples, and even 2 boxes of printer paper (which teachers have to buy for themselves here). I also found an overhead projector (phew). I got keys to the classroom and storage room, too. So, I've found school supplies and I've started to organize the room in an orderly way, but I still don't know what I'm doing on the 5th day of school or beyond! I'm thinking of having a philosophical discussion about what is science and then having the kids do a free-write, mainly so I can see what their writing skills look like. I should probably get my hand on some other diagnostic tests as well to see just how much I'll need to differentiate (please, not much, please, please!).

I'm going to bed now like I should have done 45 minutes ago at 9:00pm (so lame). I'm going out tomorrow night with my boyfriend and his buddies to see Dave Chappelle in DC. Watch his bit be all about southeast schools or something. I'm totally looking forward to having a social life tomorrow, but I need to sleep a lot tonight if I'm going to last on 5 hours of sleep on Friday. I am oh so overwhelmed. Oh well - I'll get through it soon enough and forget I was ever worried in the first place. On that thought - Goodnight!

I met my classroom today

Thank you so much for posting everyone. I love to hear from you and get such good advice. For instance, I'm using the black construction paper for border now. Alaska had mentioned being interested in seeing my behavior management plan. You will find my entire management plan below after a news about what I did today (I actually typed out a whole long description of the whole thing a minute ago and tried to post it, then my internet froze and I lost the whole thing! So I'm going to try and make this brief because I have things to do tonight.)

Today, I went into my school and spent a lot of time in my classroom. Seeing how school starts in exactly one week, I expected all the teachers to be there setting up, but as it turned out, it was just me and one of the other science teachers. I'm so glad she was there because if it weren't for her, I'd have just left. She showed me where the one old, often-broken copy machine was and the big rolls of butcher paper. She also informed me that I may need to bring in my own printer and that I'll be lucky if I get a computer. There are 4 monitors in my room but no computers. I'll need to suck it up and spend a lot of my own money and supplies like paper, printer ink, staplers, etc. The copy machine doesn't blow up images so I can't print up neat posters. This goes on and on and on. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought. My student teaching lessons absolutely depended on handouts, the internet, and an LCD projector. My lessons were so interactive. But with limited handouts, no internet, and not even an overhead projector in sight, I'm at a loss. I'm going to have to get my hands on an overhead projector at least. It's hard to say how I feel right now. I'm not overwhelmed or defeated. Maybe more like frustrated and disturbed in a sad kind of way. I am going to have to completely re-vamp my teaching style for low-level learners without all the wonderful tools tailored for low-level learners I'm used to.

What did I accomplish today? I arranged the tables in my awkwardly set up room in a surprisingly functional way and covered some corkboard with butcher paper. Yea - that's it. Tomorrow, besides from whatever the administration has planned for us, I'll have to fill up many a trash bag with stuff left behind from the teacher who used to be in my room and organize whatever is left. If the person before me had organized the stuff in the classroom, it would probably save me two days worth of work. Two days I NEED because I only have lesson plans lasting me until Thursday next week. Only 4 days! Gahh! With that in mind, let me hurry up and post my management plan, then run to make some poster for my classroom.

I created this plan so that it would probably work with any school-wide discipline policy and rules. I have not yet seen what my school's policy is, so I can't tell you how much I need to adapt this to my specific placement or not. Hopefully, I'll learn that kind of thing tomorrow when school starts for teachers. I also created this plan for myself. I think for where I am at right now, in order for me to be the great teacher I want to be, I need a plan as specific as mine is. I don't want to and can't afford to argue with students about whether or not they broke a rule. The idea is that my plan is specific enough and easy enough that a student should recognize instantly when they have broken a rule and accept the consequence without much argument.

Every other Friday I will give the class 15-minute Friday Free-Time. When the class does not quiet down after I raise my hand and say, ""5,4,3,2,1 Quiet", then I will run a timer and deduct time from their 15 minutes. I will also deduct 1 minute for every homework assignment not turned in. I'm going to ask the kids to bring my some of their CD's for me to screen at home and then I'll play the school-appropriate ones during their free time.

With that all said, here I present my rules for life in and out of the classroom - "Mind your Manners", my classroom expectations, my negative consequences, and my "Menu of Rewards". Notice that the consequences are predictable and simple, yet flexible enough for me not to use the same punishment on a kid over and over again who does not respond to that particular punishment. FYI: tickets for trinkets is pulling a filled-out good behavior ticket out of a hat and pulling a useless silly trinket out of another bag. Random give-away of random prize.

Mind Your Manners

1. When responding to an adult, you must answer by saying “Yes, ma’am” or “No, sir.” Just nodding your head or saying any other form of yes or no is not acceptable.

2. Make eye contact. When someone is speaking, keep your eyes on them. If someone makes a comment, turn and face that person.

3. If someone does something well, congratulate that person. (In class, we will applaud.)

4. During discussions, respect everyone’s comments, opinions, and ideas. Always acknowledge what someone said before you.

5. If you win or do something well, do not brag. If you lose, do not show anger.

6. Do not smack your lips, tsk, roll your eyes, or show disrespect with gestures.

7. Do not use curse words.

8. Always say thank you when someone gives you something or helps you in any way.

9. It is rude to ask for a reward for good behavior or a good performance.

10. Do not whine, moan, or complain when assigned a task. If you do not like something about the task, politely explain your reasoning.

11. Do not watch while other people are being reprimanded. It makes them very uncomfortable.

12. Do not litter and clean up any other trash you see.

13. If someone else drops something, pick it up for them even if they are closer.

14. Hold doors open for those behind you.

15. If someone bumps into you, even if it was not your fault, say, “Excuse me.”

Classroom Expectations

1. All school-wide rules are in effect.

2. Always respect others and their property.

3. Support a safe learning environment for all.

4. Be prepared for class on time.

5. Homework will be turned in by all students everyday, no exceptions.

6. Transitions in class will be swift, quiet, and orderly.

7. The class will be silent during any school announcements.

8. All paperwork will remain organized.

9. You may only speak or leave your seat when given permission.

10. When we read together as a class, you will follow along. If I call on you to read, you must know exactly where we are and begin reading immediately.

11. If you have a dispute with another student, do not fuss or argue. Tell me and I will handle the situation.

12. Always be honest.

13. Follow all rules and display your best manners with a substitute just as you do with me.

14. Deodorant is for armpits only. Not for body sprays.

15. Be the person you want to be.

Consequences for Misbehavior

1st Offense	· Verbal warning
2nd Offense	· Time-out corner · “See me after class” · Conference in the hall
3rd Offense	· Sit in the hall and copy classroom rules or “rephrase that” · Silent lunch with Ms. DC Newbie · Morning detention where you must: Ø Write about alternative ways to handle the situation that got you there, Ø Clean desks, or Ø Time for reflection (clean bathroom mirrors)
4th Offense	· Bounce pass · After-school detention · Three-part form sent home to be signed by parent/guardian · Written apology to offended student OR behavior improvement plan · Reading a story from The Book of Virtues and writing a 1-2 page essay on how it relates to your situation, how you mishandled it, and how you will handle it next time.
5th Offense	· Parent/Teacher Conference

Rewards Menu

Appetizer
- Good behavior ticket
Main Course
- Drawing tickets for trinkets
- +2 points on classwork
Dessert
- Thank you note home
- Thank you phone call home

Alright - that's it. Hopefully I'll have good news tomorrow. It should be since I'll finally learn how my school actually runs. Right now I'm flying blind. Goodnight!